...... skating between the two as I navigate life's twisting, winding road...

Friday, August 5, 2011

This is what brings me joy.  Only to a certain degree, of course.  I've been making flowers all day for a huge 25th wedding anniversary cake that is going out on Sunday.    The flowers in these photos are just a small amount of the ones that have been done, and ones that still need to be done.   I sit here now, very sleepy and ready for bed.  The only problem -- it's only 8:30 at night.  Much too early for bed.

I smell like powdered sugar.  I swear this smell is better than any perfume that money can buy.   Since there is a fan blowing against my bare skin, the smell of pure sweetness is wafting up to my nose.  It is heavenly.   Would it be wrong to eat oneself?  I presume so..

My ear buds have become an extension of myself today.  I don't think they've been out all day long.  You would think that by now I would have grown tired of listening to music.  I haven't. 

....muster your strength cuz you're gonna ache.. my love will bring you down... it will meet you to please you... haunt you and tease you... 

"Can You Love Me?" by Brie Stoner is playing in my ears right now.  Brie Stoner is good stuff!  Look up some of her videos on YouTube.  

Now I have completely lost my train of thought.  Typical for me...

I feel so relaxed right now.  I feel good.   Peaceful.. 

I think I may drag my rear outside and light a fire in the fire pit.  I feel like sinking into la la land and watching a fire burn by myself.   There isn't anything cooler and more relaxing than watching a fire burn..

*This is the fire we had going last weekend while camping.. * 

Peace out.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Going The Distance and Finishing with a Bang!

Today was the day that I have lunch with my best friend, Nancy.  We meet up at her son's pizzeria (if you need a good place for pies, this place is it !) and gossiped until the cows came home.  It appeared to be a typical lunch date for us.  We bitched.  We complained.  We vented.  We talked about the load of shit that hit the fan for me yesterday, and we did a lot of laughing.  The usual stuff..

I found out yesterday that a pancake breakfast that I am in charge of is the same date as a pick up that I am supposed to do for scouts.  I'm supposed to pick up a popcorn order in a town that is about an hour or so away from the place I will be holding the breakfast.  I haven't figured out yet how I am going to be in two places at once, but I suppose it will work out in the end.  It has to!

My main problem is that I will not have anyone helping me unload my truck after I pick up the popcorn.  I have to leave Hubby at the pancake breakfast to flip pancakes and whatnot.  My son will be at the breakfast, as well, serving.  I guess I will be schlepping boxes of evil, putrid popcorn myself.  Dammit!  Anyone want to help?!   Please??    :)

But the day was pockmarked with a few good moments.  I cannot lie about that.  If these moments were not good, I would not be sitting here thinking about them. 

I volunteer at the local soup kitchen.  It is one of the best things that I do with my time.  I spend a few hours a day helping prepare the meal and serving it, as well as cleaning up after the lunch is over.   It's a very rewarding thing for me.  I walk away from there with a few gentle reminders about life. 

I remember that the world does not consist of just me and my miniscule issues (see above rant about popcorn).  I remember that there is always someone out there who is worse off than I.  I also remember that life should never be taken for granted.  There are times in life where the bull needs to be grabbed by the balls, and you need to ride the hell out of life.  You never know when your life will fall into a shit-pile and forever be changed.  Enjoy it while you can.

A couple of weeks ago, I was at the soup kitchen and one of the patrons came to the counter and stated that he was looking for a fan.  It was brutally hot that day, and it was in the forecast to be even hotter in the days after.   He shook his head after making this statement, and said, "This isn't the place to find one.  I know I won't find one here." 

The next day, I arrived with a fan for him -- for Richard.  The smile that exploded on his face was one that I will never forget.  It is unbelievable the feeling that one receives when they are able to give someone what they desire most.   But that is another story that I could tell...

I saw him today.  I was driving to the pizzeria and he was walking down the street.  He looked quite handsome today.  He had his hair cut.  He was shaved and dressed pretty well.   He saw me and waved his hand above his head.  I tell you ... it made me feel like a million bucks!    He returned to me what I had given to him. 

What goes around comes around..

It was during the same day at the soup kitchen that one of the patrons (I'd rather call them that than homeless.. it sounds better.. it also suits them better.. ) came up to the serving counter and started to talk to me.   Even though I have been volunteering there for almost three years, I had never spoken to him before.

He came up and we discussed churches, the town, etc.  We talked about people that we both knew, and we bonded.  He is a seriously nice guy.   I truly enjoyed our conversation. 

I was standing outside of the pizzeria saying goodbye to Nancy when he came strolling down the street.  He saw me and his entire face lit up like a Christmas tree!  I must admit that mine lit up too.  It was great to see him, and he seemed so damn happy. 

What goes around comes around...

I learned a long time ago that what you give of yourself will almost always be returned to you.  It may not be returned by the same person, but it will come.   It always comes when you do not expect it to.    I also learned to not look for it.  Don't seek it out.  Allow it to come to you and let it surprise you.  It means so much more when it happens..

Monday, August 1, 2011


Wicked and evil has been my schedule of late.   Constantly running here and there, doing this and that and listening to this one and to that one.  Needless to say, it had drained me of my patience and robbed me of my sense of well-being.   But who would have guessed that a simple weekend outing would wake up my spirit and serve as a reminder that it's vitally important to stop the merry-go-round and breathe. 

... breathes... 

We packed up some things this weekend and went camping for a night.    We went with another family, and it was the best thing I've done in a long time.   It was just a time to unwind, forget about the world and the responsibilities and just relax. 

The company was wonderful.  The fire was mesmerizing.   The children ran around screaming like fiends, and hearing them get along and enjoy one another was one of the most wonderful sounds.   I honestly do not believe it could have been more enjoyable or relaxing.

I believe that a good experience is one in which you learn from it.  I learned a thing or two, and this new found knowledge will stay with me for as long as I live. 

1.  I learned that New Yorkers do not like going to be before the hour of 3 a.m.  This is about the time that the people camping across from our site finally called it a morning night.  I searched all over for sleep, but it was not found until at least 3:30 am, and when it did come, it came in sporatic spurts.  I will cross that campsite and particular camping area off my list of places to visit again!   The family that accompanied us should be thankful that they left early.  I wish I had.

2.  Lake water will stay with you once it enters your sinus cavity.  I do believe that I finally stopped tasting it in my mouth by the next morning.  

3.  The last place to go for breakfast the next morning is a diner filled with people who have slept the night before and are full of piss and vinegar.  

This next one is the most important thing I learned.  You may be wise to read this one carefully and commit it to your memory.  You, too, can be saved by this tidbit...

4.  I learned that if I were to die alone in my house, my dog would sit by me and mourn my death.  He will be filled with utter sadness and will protect my body.   I also learned (and this is the important part) that if I were to die alone in my house, my cat would not care.  He would not curl himself around my dead body and be sad at my demise.  He will, instead, eat me when he grows hungry. 

I have thought about this fact and have committed it to memory.  I find that I look at my cat differently.  There are times when he looks at me and then licks his lips.  I often ask myself.... is he thinking of eating me?  

This, of course, has prompted me to change my diet drastically.  I have opted to not eat sweets anymore.  I have given up my most favorite thing -- ice cream -- and I have decided that I must lose weight.  A cat will not enjoy dining on skin and bones, right??   Right?!?! 


The father of the other family is wonderful to talk to and spend time with.  He makes me laugh, makes me think.  Conversation comes very easy, and that is always a good thing!  I, and my husband, truly enjoy his friendship.  Yes, the cat thing came from him!  I blame him for nightmares.  His son and my boys get along so well together.  It's as if they've known each other forever.   I hope they will always be friends. 

The peace I acquired during the weekend was divine.  It's still with me today.  I hope I keep it.  If I start to lose it, I may have to go camping again!