As I sit here with a light beading of sweat glistening on my forehead, I wish for the smell of dried leaves, the sight of a multitude of colors slowly cascading toward the earth and the sound of crunching as my feet skip across the brittle leaves that scatter the green grass. I long for a cold, crisp breeze to kiss my skin and tell me that summer is over.
Fat chance.
I have applications sitting beside me. There is an opportunity to travel to the southern part of my state to help with repairs that were left in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. I can either go alone or take a group. I would truly love to take a group, but it will be rather difficult to get people to join me. I know of one person that would, and that would be my pastor. I can also volunteer for a week or for a weekend. I'd love to go for a week. There are various churches and organizations that serve as hosts. They provide you with a cot and a place to put the cot; you provide the sleeping bag, meals, traveling expenses and you also have to donate money toward supplies. I want to go.
Going would would serve two purposes for me. It would satisfy my desire to serve, and it would also give me the chance to cleanse my mind, spirit and soul. I have had something living inside of me for so long, and my mind tells me to release it. Is my mind right? I am not sure, because my heart is currently in the throes of a war with my mind.
I'm gearing up for one of my favorite activities. I am in the middle of putting together some finishing touches on a free bbq that my missions group throws every year for people in need. It is one of my pet projects. I am quite excited because we have twice as many people as last year signed up. The weather forecast, so far, is a good for Saturday. I hope it stays that way!
It's going to be such a busy day on Saturday. Right after the bbq, I will be taking dinner to the area's homeless. This is another one of my favorite things to do. It's a raw reminder of how life could be. My family spends two hours with them, and if there are children, my youngest son has a blast interacting and playing with them. I really enjoy it. It's a great opportunity for anyone, but unfortunately, there aren't many volunteers to do it. My family has been doing it pretty consistently for the past couple of years. Instead of offering it up to anyone else, I am usually just given the date and told how many people will be there. I am always grateful when I am told that I don't have to go -- not because I don't want to go, but because it means that there is no need. No need is a good thing!
I have a stack of church business to take care of tonight, but am having a hard time getting motivated. I am not sure why. I suppose that the heat and humidity is making me somewhat sleepy. Yes, yes it is.
There is a misconception that if a person is heavily involved in church, he/she lives a clean, solid, uncomplicated life. Oh how wrong that is!
I have two sides of me. One is the mission-minded, church loving, God fearing person. The other is a woman that makes mistakes, stumbles and falls and feels things she probably shouldn't. The first "me" is the one you meet and see. The second "me" is the one that I keep inside most of the time, but if you look closely into my eyes, you can see "her".
"Mom, what's for dinner?!"
I just heard this shouted across the house. I suppose it's time to close this up and begin again another day.
It's a good thing, too. I almost let my second "me" out, and we don't need none of that.
Not today.
Not here.
No comments:
Post a Comment