Make a Wish

I made a wish once.  Well, that isn't entirely true.  I have blown countless fluffs of dandelion in hopes that all of my wishes and dreams would come true.  I made sure that none of the fluff landed on the ground (at least not in my presence), because I knew that if the fluff landed, the wish would never be granted.  So I would chase the fluff all over and blowing beneath it so it would stay airborne.  It didn't matter if it meant diving into the dirt or rolling across the grass to assure it stayed afloat.  I did whatever was necessary to make sure that the wish granted would be mine.  

It never truly worked.  I never was granted any of my wishes -- childish ones or not.   This did not deter me from making more.  Even today, in my old age, I will still grasp a hold of a dandelion stalk and bring it to my lips.  My lips will pucker and I will blow ever so gently and send the wisps of fluff fluttering through the air.  As I do this, my eyes will screw up tight and my mind makes that one wish.  I will still chase the fluff around, making sure that they shall never touch the ground.

I have yet had a wish granted.

I will still send those little pieces of fluff spiraling into the air, and I will still hope and wish.   

I will also wish on the first lone star that twinkles in the night sky.  I close my eyes and recite that infamous poem:

"Star light, star bright,

The first star I see tonight;

I wish I may, I wish I might,

Have the wish I wish tonight."

 

The first star never holds my wish.  Do I give up?  No, I search the night sky for the lone star and make my wish.  I've been wishing for the same wish for four years now.  

As I sit and reflect on my wish and how the past four years have played out, I must confess that there have been bits and pieces of my wish given to me.  At times, the pieces of the wish came to me wrapped in a shiny bow.  They leave me with little droplets of memories that leave me feeling as though I am 14 again, as I quickly write about them in my private journal.   

I had always thought that when I grew up that those little things that make your young teenage heart go pitter-pat and makes your squeal with delight would end.  I truly thought that I said goodbye to them, but they still exist. 

The feeling of butterflies in your tummy as a glance comes your way.  The heart skipping a beat as the sound of a voice fills your ears, and the loss of thought as someone is near.  The feeling of being totally incapable of holding a mature and thoughtful conversation with someone just because they are standing there.  Oh how charming is that!  

 

I will still search the night sky for that lone star and make a wish.   I will still bring a dandelion to my lips and blow. 

Wishes don't have to end.  Wishing reminds me that I am alive inside.  It reminds me that "I" am me and I think, feel and breathe.  It reminds me that I am an individual that wants things, feels things and desires much.  

I wish... I wish...