Life Is Not Perfect

There is a reason why this blog is titled "Between Heaven and Hell".  The reason is that conscious decisions are made with good intent.  I try to choose wisely and think of the consequences.  If you notice,  I said "try".  I am not infallible.  I make mistakes.  I skip along the coast of evil on occasion. I admit it.  

I do believe in God.  I believe that He exists.  My relationship with God is very personal and I do not tend to share that with anyone, at least not to any great extent.  I'm not filled with shame for having a relationship.  I am not embarrassed to admit it, however I feel I would be exploiting that relationship if I were to shout it from the rooftop.  It would lose depth and, quite possibly, meaning.  

Regardless of my beliefs, I am human.  I am not perfect.  I bleed.  I make mistakes.  I have lapses in judgment.  I hunger for things I should not want.  I crave the taste of things that should never pass my lips.  I judge people and speak of them.  I have broken a commandment or two or three.  I swear and talk like a sailor on occasion.   At the same time, I like to consider myself a devout follower.  

It's a strange concept to sin and yet consider oneself to be devout.. or is it ?

The most common fallacy that people tend to have is that Christians are supposed to live cleanly 100% of the time.  If this were the case, I would be in a heck of a lot of trouble!   The truth of the matter is that none of us - even "Super Christians" - are perfect.    Not one single one of us.  

I do what I can, and stumble when I do.  I pick myself back up, dust myself off and look upward to say, "Boy, I really messed up, didn't I?"  I am confident that He shakes his head at me and wonders if I will ever get it right.  

Maybe one of these days I will, but I doubt it.  I'm going to keep on stumbling, skinning my knees and looking upward for a hint of forgiveness.  I'm going to keep wanting what I can't have, hunger for the taste upon my lips and wait for lightning to crack down upon my rear.  

Life is what you make it.  It is not perfect and neither is any of us.  Am I wrong for believing as strongly as I do while skirting along the edge of Hell?  I am sure that most Christians would say that I am, but what I do, how I feel and how I nurture my relationship with a God who forgives, shakes his head in disbelief and laughs is truly my business and His.  

Just as your relationship with Him is your business - whether that relationship is budding, growing or lifelong.