Pretty Me

 "No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl.  All little girls should be told they're pretty, even if they aren't."

- Marilyn Monroe -

It isn't just little girls that should be told they're pretty.  Being told that does marvelous things to the psyche and ego.  

I woke up this morning and stared at my reflection in the mirror.  I can't say that I was pleased with what I saw.  My hair was veering off in different directions.  I still don't know what the hell my hair was doing during the night.   My face had lines on it courtesy of my pillow.  My eyes were puffy and, let's face it, I looked like hell. 

 I swear in my heart of hearts that I looked like that all day.  I swear I could feel my hair giggling as it tried to slide to the opposite side of my head.  The bastard strands were trying to mock me!   My eyes, even at this time of night, still feel puffy from last night's sleep, if you could call my whopping three hours of rest sleep.  I can't.  I won't.

I hauled my rear into the grocery store to pick up something for lunch.  I wasn't sure what I wanted, but in my sleep fuzzy mind, I found myself walking toward the deli counter.  I spotted a man of about 24 years old rearranging bowls of salads underneath the glass.   I watched as an older woman called him over to her to discuss their hot soups.  While they talked, I debated with myself.   What should I have?  What should I get?  A salad?  Deli meat for a sandwich?  

I was practically slowly spinning around in a circle trying to decide.  The deli counter was in front of me, and premade salads were behind me.  Oh what to do... what to do?

"Can I help you?"

Yep, I was snagged by the 24 year old deli worker.  I turned around and .. *ahem* ... he was very nice looking.  

Hey, I am married but I sure as heck am not dead!

I guess I made up my mind.  How could I possibly resist the killer smile on a 24 year old man?  I wouldn't/couldn't dare!   

We bantered back and forth.  Saying silly things, mock insulting each other and doing a whole lot of smiling.  I blushed and giggled like a 13 year old school girl.  I couldn't stop myself either.

I was in lust.

Hey, I'm human! 

We talked for a bit.  Hey, the store was dead.  I felt I looked like crap.  He was dreamy, funny and did I mention he had a killer smile?  

Okay, I guess I'm admitting to have a brief crush on a man young enough to be my son.

Oh God, I had to say that, didn't I?  

Well, it certainly ruined it for me.  The fantasy has been crushed beneath my own two clumsy feet.

Well.. not totally crushed.. 

I left the store walking on a cloud.  It isn't often that I can look like total crap and yet feel so utterly beautiful.  

Today I felt beautiful.  

Tonight, I still feel beautiful, because I am.  

I am 44 years old.  I have small wrinkles around my eyes.  I have lines along my mouth from laughing over the years.  My skin isn't as taunt as it once was.

But you know what?

I'm one of the most beautiful women in the world.  I'm sexy as hell.   I could turn on a man or a woman, if given the chance.   I'm smart, funny and pretty. 

I'm passionate, alive and gorgeous.

Yes, it is important to tell someone they are beautiful.  It's important to feel beautiful.  

I feel beautiful.

I am beautiful.